I Could've Been an Assenisipian

Among Thomas Jefferson's unfortunately neglected ideas are a series of names he proposed for states to be founded in the then-Northwest Territories, which is to say, the lands between the Appalachians and the Mississippi. The New York Times discussed these names in an 1889 article. Especially relevant is the proposed name of the region that is now northern Illinois and southern Wisconsin: Assenisipia, after the Assenisipi (or, as it is known to the white man, the Rock River). Why, the name is positively pulchritudinous, if I do say so myself. I resolve to write the federal government to propose the breakup of the states of Illinois and Wisconsin so that Jefferson's original intention may be honored.